So much to update.

So much to update and so little time… well, I’ve finally found some.

I really should have a look through my blog so I know where I got to in my updates previously… Ah that’s right. I was going to update you every day about my progress in my month of healthy living… I guess that’s as good a place as any to start then eh?

Well, I failed pretty miserably really! I got through to about the 10th. However, it was a pretty hardcore 10 days. Every day, I got up, did 20 sit ups and some press ups (varying in amount depending on when I got up). Each evening, I did another 20 sit ups and some press ups. I drank 250ml of cranberry juice as an anti-oxident every day. I drank whole vegatable soup for lunch, after a healthy breakfast and a full evening meal – being careful not to exceed my 2500 calories per day. In addition to this, I also swam 3 times a week with a good workout at the gym. I didn’t smoke for the 10 days and I didn’t drink either. So, pretty good really. Bloody hell it’s tough though.

Anyhow, I’m back smoking and drinking again. I’m trying to keep the other things going, but I’m failing at the moment. It’s been a really horrible June and one I’m prepared to forget the second that it finishes;

To start with – I’m finding work really tough at the moment. It’s not that it’s changing particularly, or things are any harder than they probably have been previously. It’s just that I’m really struggling. I’m struggling to wake up of a morning. I’m struggling to stay awake throughout the day. I’m struggling with talking about the same problems in every call. I’m struggling with pretty much everything. I’m basically keeping my head above the water line, with it occasionally bobbing underneath. That’s about as good as I can describe at the moment. It’s frustrating, as in this economic climate, everyone should be performing as well as they can do – and I don’t feel that I am. This in turn makes me worried about my job security – which is probably adding to my stress about my job. Bloody catch 22 situation. Anyone got any answers about how to re-find one’s mojo?

So, because my dear wife cares for me a great deal, she’s advised that I go to the doctors to talk about stuff. I’ve talked about feeling stressed, under pressure and not being able to “wake up” despite sleeping a lot. I’ve ended up being summoned for blood tests and now I’ve just got to wait for the results, which I should get next week.

On top of all that, I had the LIMS exhibition to attend in London. This is the London Internation Music Show in Excel. I actually really enjoy exhibitions as it’s a great time to get together with colleagues that I don’t normally get to see very often. Yes, they’re a little stressful, but they’re good fun in the main. This show was going to be extra important as we were hosting the world launch of the S90XS and S70XS performance synths on the Wednesday… here’s where my stressful June continued in earnest…

I travelled down to London on the Wednesday afternoon, through central London in the middle of a tube strike. It took me bloody ages. Eventually I arrived at The Tower hotel next to Tower Bridge and checked in to my room. I had just unpacked, got ready and raring to go for the evening. I nipped out for a quick cigarette before my dealers started arriving… Sal rang. That was unusual as she never really rings whilst I’m at work. It was then that I heard her mention the dreaded words that we’d been burgled.

Shit.

I jumped straight back in the car and headed back through a heavilly congested central London back home. I was incredibly worried about Sal. I needed to get back and check that she was ok. With the help and support of our amazing friends… (name checks… Steph, James, Gemma, Matt, an absolutely fantastic Mike, Steve, Nic, Stu and Kelly) Sal was ok when I got home and Jo and Sal were cleaning and putting things back together again.

They nicked the usual stuff. Camcorders, cameras, Wii, Wii games, DS, DS games, laptop, it was annoying as hell. They threw a huge rock through the window of our back door and then ran around the house. They tore my office apart looking for my beloved Mac, along with a real mess of the spare room. Fortunately, they only took the quick sellable electricals, but nothing else of any note. It was just the frustration really.

Well, here I am. It’s the 17th June. A lot has happened. I’m still only half way through the month. I’ve now got zero money due to having to pay for burgular alarms, repairs, insurance excess etc. It’s not helped my motivation to do anything. It’s not helped my stress levels etc. Married life was supposed to have a honeymoon period wasn’t it? Was married life supposed to be sweet?

After all the fun of the wedding and the fact that I’ve pretty much loved every second of my working life up until now… I’m in a dark place at the moment. I actually sat in a coffee shop in LIMS with my head in my hands wondering what it would be like if I wasn’t around anymore. I am grateful for my friends and my life really. I am married to the most amazing woman. I just worry that I am not being able to provide everything that I would like to provide for her and what I promised her in my wedding speech. I promised her a life of love, happiness, fulfillment… not a life of depression, arguments and stress. I want to break this vicious cycle in which I’ve found myself, but I’m really not sure how.

June 2009 is a month that I really will be happy to see the back of. This has not been a happy month. I’m just grateful for an amazing wife and an amazing bunch of friends.

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Health month update #1

Well, forgive me for updating my first day – but I really should do this properly;

Today I have been swimming. I have decided that for my three meals, I will eat a cereal for breakfast. I have bought some thick soups that I can heat up in the morning, pop in a flask and eat for lunch time whilst I’m out on the road. Then Sal and I will eat an evening meal together in the evening.

I have everything I need to make this month a success. I have bought a thermos flask (I didn’t have one!!) to keep my soup warm for lunchtimes. I have checked the calorie content, saturated fat content and salt / sugar content of the soups.

I have also bought a supply of cranberry juice, which is a good anti-oxident and source of vitamin C. In addition to all of this, I have been swimming this evening and completed my 20 sit-ups. I will do another 20 sit-ups before I go to bed this evening.

The not smoking today has been ok. I’ve had some seriously bad craving moments though. I’ve also found myself snap at Sal occasionally for the lightest of reasons. I must acknowledge that it’s down to a substantial swift in my lifestyle and my body is starting to miss the nicotene.

So far, I’m keen to make this month a success. I’m looking forward to seeing what effect all of this has on the quality of how I feel in the mornings and evenings. I’m also keen to know what sort of effect this will have on my weight. June is officially my month of health and fitness. I’m going full tilt to see just how much better I can feel.

Day 1 is nearing an end. Day 2 begins soon…

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Healthy living for a month. Day #1

So I’m going to try and live through June considerably more healthier than I would otherwise do.

Therefore, I am planning on giving up Alcohol and Cigarettes for the month. I have learnt previously, that saying that I’m giving up smoking completely is a mamouth ask of the body and mind. Therefore, I’m going to do it for a month. Set myself a mental goal, that I can, if I want to, smoke again in July. However, I am intrigued by how I might be feeling. It’s a good exercise in understanding my own pshychology.

In addition to this, I am going to drink as much water as I can per day. Yes, if I’m being honest, I am being slightly influenced by the Volvic advert, but I’m intrigued to see what sort of difference it can make to my daily routine. In addition to this, I am going to try some new things – like tomato juices etc. I already like cranberry juice, so another healthy option would be good.

I am also going to use this blog to write down my thoughts and feelings throughout the month so I can articulate how I’m feeling throughout this process.

So then… to sumarise;

No cigarettes throughout June. No alcohol of any description throughout June. Lots of water to be consumed. Swimming at least 2 times per week. At least 20 high quality sit ups morning and evening. Play football whenever possible, or substitute it for another excerise if I can’t play. Give up snacking (biscuits with tea, pringles, packets of crisps etc) and educate my body to expect three meals per day.

If I can do this routine for a month I will be very interested to note my fitness levels and also my weight. It’s going to be an interesting month I think. I will be noting what I eat on this blog throughout June too.

Right then, here’s to a month of health!

gigs, friends and reunions.

This last weekend, I was fortunate enough to perform a couple of gigs with Josh Doyle. Josh was formally the frontman for pop punksters, the Dum Dums.

Josh came to the UK for 9 shows over the last couple of weeks. I joined him, along with Mark Hamilton and Paul Evans for the last two shows, in Birmingham and London.

Both shows were great fun, especially London! Josh’s new material is really strong and it was a real pleasure playing it on stage with him, with a few Dum Dums songs thrown in for good measure.

Birmingham was a bit of a school reunion really, as former Dummies (and I mean that in the most affectionate way!) Steve and Stu were in attendance. It was, of course innevitable that these guys were going to join Josh on stage and the first appearance of the Dum Dums in 8 years was happening!

It was a real pleasure seeing the old chemistry, banter and musicality happen on stage. It felt right somehow. It felt that these guys were able to kick back, have some fun and knock out these tunes together again. I’m not privvy to what went on in the band in terms of relationships, friendships or whatever… what I do know is that it somehow felt to complete things that night. Steve and Stu are in the full swing of Rogue States and Josh is forging his new career, but for that night, the circle seemed to complete.

I never really saw the Dum Dums “back in the day” or had much to do with them. My friendship with Josh, Steve and Stu happened after the band. It was good to catch a glimpse of what “was” by seeing them playing together. It was cool to see how well it was received by the Dum Dums fans in the audience too. This band obviously meant so much to so many people, it was a real pleasure seeing them get so much pleasure from it.

After the show, James, Steve, Stu, Catherine, Kelly, Sal and I headed back to our place to watch the fantastic DVD that Stu has created of the Dum Dums story. It was great fun watching Josh, Steve, James and Stu laughing so hard and remembering the fun. They achieved so much in such a short time, it was not without it’s hint of sadness that it ended so soon, as many great things tend to do. However, watching the old friendships rekindle with good nature and humour was a real pleasure. I’m pleased that the evening went so well.

I’m really pleased that the London show went so well. Josh was on form. The audience was really in to it, along with a great reaction to Josh’s new material. Hopefully Josh will be back with us soon, as someone who’s only really known him a brief time, I miss him already. He’s great fun to hang out with and great fun to share a stage with (if a little unpredictable!). If I don’t get the chance to play with him again, these gigs will hold a special place in my memory for some time to come.

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Jean Michel Jarre

On Sunday the 24th May I was privilaged enough to witness Jean Michel Jarre perform at the NIA in Birmingham as part of his In-Doors world tour!

Wow!

The sound was incredible. For a geek like me, the sound system was “invisible” – something JMJ was keen to try and do as part of this tour. I am aware that there are considerable jokes at JMJ’s expense with regards to lazers and light shows. However, JMJ believes that the light show forms a way of helping the audience to engage with the concepts of his music. In keeping with this, he didn’t want the sound system to “get in the way” of the audiences participation of the show, both in terms of music and performance. Therefore, the PA was hidden throughout the venue. This gave an incredible feeling of being surrounded by the sound. This also meant that because your eye lines weren’t distracted by large PA stacks either side of the stage, you engaged completely with the performance.

JMJ played most of his most well known pieces, including RV2 and RV3, a considerable amount of the Oxygene album, Equinoxe 4 and 5, Magnetic Fields 1 and 2 and Industial Revolutions. Beautiful sound, incredible show concept and fantastic performance from one of my musical icons.

Expenses.

I’m struggling to think about how I can articulate myself regarding the current political hot potato that is political expenses. Whilst I’m thinking, here are a couple of bullet points I must revisit…

i) Are you seriously telling me that you claiming £16,000 of mortgage payments on an already paid mortgage was an “oversight”? Dodgy accounting? Bloody right it was. I’m sure that these are people that are more intelligent than me, with degree’s and the like… I’m just a simple salesman at the end of the day, but I know of every penny I owe and what comes in and what goes out every month. It’s nice to know they’ve offered to pay it back, but would they have offered if they’d not been found out?

ii) I’m ALREADY fed up of the news suggesting that politicians are now the “good guys” for offering to pay their expense claims back. Balls. They’ve been rumbled and they’re trying to save their asses.

iii) An expense is just that, a legitimate business expense, incurred as part of the duties of their role. These are and, rightly should be, subject to scrutiny. Even more so when the claims are publicly funded. I am fortunate enough to have a job which allows me to incur legitimate expenses. However, I cannot claim for personal food (consumed during my working day), I cannot claim for postage costs, stamps, stationary etc. I have a fixed, small, daily allowance which is designed to cover these items. I work for a very large multinational corporation. Now, if a politician is not happy with their basic wage and feels the need to subsidise it with other means, then I have no problems in all honesty. However, here would be my solution;

GET ANOTHER JOB.

You are supposed to be a democratically elected representative of the people. You are supposed to uphold the laws of the land, be the representative voice of the common man. You are not supposed to abuse your privilaged position, or steal money from the public purse, or tell blatant lies to the people who’s trust and expectations you have destroyed.

You are wondering why voter turnout is at an all time low? It’s not rocket science guys. You’re wondering why people are disillusioned with politics? Have a few guesses? This country is in serious trouble. The class system may be dead, but the gulf in engagement those in power and the common voice is ever widening. Gordon Brown stating that the Arctic Monkies were his favourite band is an example of how non-relevant our elected officials really area. It’s a bad state of affairs and this recent crisis has only demonstrated just how bad a state we’re in.

Get out of your nice houses, your second homes, your posh cars, your secluded country clubs and walk shoulder to shoulder with the working class parents and see how life is for them. Go shopping with them, go on holiday with them, spend Christmas with them. Once you’ve done that, spend some time with the single parents, perhaps babysit for them one night, whilst they go on a night out with their friends (you’d have to do it for free though). When you’re travelling to meet these people, may I suggest that you do it on public transport. Make sure that you arrive early so you can really savor the delights of our public transport hubs. Make sure that you enjoy the comforts of our railway stations, their catering and seating arrangements surely shouldn’t be missed. Once you’ve sampled a few of those (not the one’s in London – there are other cities in the UK you know) then may I suggest you do a few bus stations – but make sure it’s at dusk – you really see their beauty then.

I should take your face mask with you though. If you were to get ill, then with the work you’ll be doing walking shoulder to shoulder with the working class families, you’ll never get chance to go to the doctors – they’ll be shut by the time you can get to the surgery.

Mind you, by the time you’ve finished all of the above, perhaps you should treat yourself to a well earned drink. Maybe a city centre on a weekend. You can see just how well spent all that money has been in the anti-binge drinking adverts. Although, perhaps you’ll see a generation of teenagers and twenty somethings that really do have the power to change the world. They are an amazing generation, growing up in amazing times. However, if I was them living my life all over again, then perhaps I would perfer to go and get battered on a weekend then engage in politics that have no relevance, no understanding and a complete lack of repsect for my life and intelligence. Perhaps you should address the real issues before stealing money from us and pretending that it’s ok.

n.b the police, nurses, doctors etc in this country do an amazing job under the most pressured of environments. I’m not having a go at you, just the people who are giving you stick when their ideas don’t work, and taking all of your praise for when it goes right. You’re all truly amazing, both for what you do and for what you’re putting up with.

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May the 4th be with you.

Token Star Wars reference inserted. Even though I’ve never seen them.

I’ve been asked to do some gigs…

It’s been a long time since I last got on stage “properly” – so it’s going to be interesting. In fact, I can’t wait. Great material, good band and interesting venues. I need to start learning material soon. I mean, very soon.

Wedding Pictures.

Here are a few of the photos that Steph took at Sal & I’s wedding earlier this month. These are fantastic shots and serve as the most perfect reminder of our day. Thanks Steph. I hope that she doesn’t mind me sharing these with you… shhh, I won’t tell if you don’t…

Goodbye.

Tonight, Retrosexual play a gig in honour of the Horny Reverend Taylor’s departure from St Thomas’ Church in Aldridge. We’ve been honoured to have Rev Taylor join the band on trumpet for the last few gigs… adding his trademark horn to such greats as Freedom, Dude Looks Like A Lady, Disco Inferno, Does Your Mother Know etc.

We’ll miss him – but we wish him well.

Rich is a top bloke and outside of the band, I’ll miss him being around the place. His new parish is very lucky to have him. I’m sure we’ll see some more of him in the future. I hate goodbyes. Tonight’s is the first of a couple this year. I’m preparing myself in advance.